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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times it seems that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a clip now and then would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?